If you need a friend, and angel will be there
by thephoenixsong
Summary: There are angels amongst us!
1. Chapter One

If you need a friend, an angel will be there!

Based present time in the series.

Main characters: John Carter, Lucy Knight, Mark Greene, Carol Hathaway, and Doug Ross.            

Chapter One

"Okay I'm off for the night!" John Carter shouted as loud as he could. 

He didn't have good ending to a good day, he needed to whine down and he sure wasn't going to his girlfriend's, Abby's house, like she had suggested half an hour ago just before she left after her shift. He need someone to listen to him and right now Abby was defiantly not the person for that, as she was one of the people as to why he wasn't having a good day. Recently Abby had started drinking again, not like the amounts when she was an alcoholic, but it was still a dangerous road for her to travel.

            He missed the only one whom he could ever talk to after days like today, Lucy. Her grave was now a focal point for him to talk to her even thou she wasn't really there. Lucy had always been able to listen properly when he talked, when she was alive. He missed her more on days like today.

            Unaware to anyone in the ER department angels watched their very move, angels were there then they needed a shoulder to cry on, moral support though a decision, or to give the confidence to carry something though. A few angels assigned to the ER department were former friends. One of the former angel friends was watching John storm into the lounge. The angel was formerly Dr Mark Greene, and he followed John into the lounge that was crowded with other staff members and another fellow angel, whom was formerly Lucy Knight. When John entered the lounge the nurses who were there looked at John and knew he needed sometime alone, so they left him to his self. 

            Lucy stood up and walked towards Mark, she wanted to know what was wrong with John, as earlier he was in a pretty good mood. She needed to know what could put him in a foul mood, so quickly. Lucy personally took John's care above any other angel, it seemed only Mark knew the reason and he had only died a few months ago. That of course was because he knew her when she was, as they say a mortal, Lucy had worked with most of the angels that went though this department since her death and they didn't know the reason. The reason was that Lucy had loved and always will love John.

            "Mark what happen? It was only an hour ago he was in a good mood!"

            "I know Lucy, but a lot can happen in an hour."

            "Okay spill, what happen while I was on my break?" Lucy said with authority, making Make laugh.

            "Okay I'll tell, firstly, Weaver has been at him again about those god damn metal detectors. Secondly, his more worried about Abby as he has just found out she's going out with the girls again and she never told him. Thirdly, his mother phoned complaining about his grandmother, and his grandmother has phoned complaining about his mother. To top it all off every patient who he has treated in the last hour have either died or are dying." 

            Once Mark had finished speaking Lucy turned to look at John, who was now taking off his lab coat, and pulled out his winter coat.

            "Great way to end a day really, isn't it." Lucy sarcastically said.   
  


Lucy approached John and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, even thou their touch to mortal's were invisible didn't mean that the touch was invisible to angels. Often then an angel touch a mortal, even if the person couldn't physically feel the touch they could sense someone was with them ready to listen. John was one of the few mortals in the ER department who could sense an angel. After Lucy touched John, he made a big sigh and started to slowly calm down, it always amazed Mark when he saw Lucy do this, as Lucy's touch was the only one that could calm John down. It's like John knew which angel was present and helping, and would only let Lucy help. 

John moved some books out of the way in his locker and reached for a photo album, he took the album and walked over to the table with it. He opened the album and it opened to a page with a photo of him and Lucy at one of the Christmas party's in the ER. John slowly traced his fingers over the picture of Lucy unaware to the lounge door that had opened, and the two people that had walked in. Mark and Lucy couldn't contain their smiles. 

"What are they doing back?" Lucy asked excited.

"Your guess is as good as mine!" Mark answered.

Mark and Lucy watched the figures approached John silently, one of them looked over John's shoulder at the album and their eyes widen in shocked from what they saw, and they also heard John mumble 'I miss you'.

"Really! That's sweet Carter we missed you too!" The person said behind him, knowing that John meant Lucy and not him.

John jumped out of his seat from fright, and snapped the album shut and shapely turned, he was afraid the person had seen the album and how he studied it intensively. John was determined to shout at the person for scaring him; he couldn't get any words out once he was whom it was. 

"Doug?" John whispers the question afraid he was seeing things. 

John looked around the room, and he saw Carol with the twins sitting on the couch trying to keep the twins from running around the small room. 

"Carol?"

"Hello, John." Carol politely answered.

"Tess and Kate are so big now, it must be over two years since I last saw them." Carol nodded.

"Yes, time has seemed to fly pass. It only feels like yesterday I was giving birth to them." Carol said, and John smiled as he remembers back to when Carol let him hold the twins a few hours after they were born.  

"How are you John?" Carol asked carefully, as she didn't want to have him sad.

"I'm doing okay, but I don't think I will never get over it. I have been able to adjust to what has happen to me, but it was difficult." John said knowing she meant after she left when he become addicted to his pain medication and not some false answer he seemed to be giving everyone else recently. 

Carol let go of the twins, and they ran out into the reception area leaving the three adults in the lounge to talk.

"Aren't you worried about them getting hold of something they shouldn't have in their little hands?" John asked.

"No, Chuni and Haleh will look after them. I like to talk to an old friend without me being distracted by there whaling."

"Coffee?" John offered, and he received two nods.

Once John sat back down and handed them their coffee's Carol broke the silence.

"John I like to apologise for not being the friend I should have been for you, after the stabbing. If I had just listened or watched you a little bit closer you wouldn't of become addicted."  Once she finished she looked down into her coffee ashamed of herself.

John saw shocked to hear this he didn't blame anyone except himself for becoming addict to his medication, and he didn't and wasn't going to let Carol blame herself.

"Carol looked at me!" Carol looked up once she heard John plead. 

"I don't blame you or anyone, the only person I blame is myself. Believe me it wouldn't of helped if you listened or watched harder anyway I was still going to become addicted. I would like to thank you for the apology thou, even thou it's not justified, do you know you're the only one to apologise for not being there more for me. I wasn't looking to talk to anyone anyway, so you wouldn't really have anyone to listen too." 

Carol, Doug, and Mark were shocked to hear John say he would still of become an addict even if they were there to help, Mark was a little less shocked. He had found out a lot of things about John he didn't know before, so he knew he shouldn't been surprised about anything John revealed. Mark looked to Lucy, whom he noticed was sitting there chuckling at them.

"Lucy, why don't you find that shocking? What he just said was kind of shocking to me, and most defiantly shocking to them two." Mark said, while pointing at Doug and Carol. 

"Because I already knew what he thought, and I saw and felt what he went though Mark. It wasn't that surprising one day when he came into the ER he started to take narcotics, it took his mind of the stabbing and me. It wasn't just at the hospital he was having trouble, actually he relished the time he was at the hospital, as it was worst for him at home. At home he had nothing to take his mind of it, he never slept well, half the nights he never slept, and the others were plagued with nightmares. Have you ever been able to witness one of your charges dreams or nightmares?" Lucy asked Mark, and he shook his head.

"It's a rare gift amongst angels, some can do it so easily they don't know their doing it until their charges have a nightmare. I have that gift, I knew straight away because I was in one of his nightmares. At home he never dreamed about being stabbed Mark, it was always me he blamed himself something chronic. It showed itself in the nightmares, and they were to dramatic for me to retell them, so don't ask me."

Lucy and Mark had missed quite a lot of the conversation the other three people in the room was having, that then they turned back they were talking about why Doug and Carol had decided to back to Chicago. 

"So why you come back to Chicago?"

"We are finally getting married, and we would like the service in Chicago. We are staying at my mothers, so we can look at the churches here. Doug is trying to convinced me to go to a hotel, my mother doesn't really like him and he doesn't like my mother." Carol said and John laughed, it was one of the most real heart felt laughs he has let out since the stabbing.

"He hasn't laughed like that in a long time!" Mark commented and Lucy nodded.

"Yeah, I know, do you know exactly when you last heard that laugh?" Mark shook his head and waited for Lucy to answer.

"Not since before I died!" Lucy stated, is left Mark shocked and thoughts running though his mind. 

­­­­­­"God the last time I saw you laugh like that was at the Christmas before I left Chicago. It's nice to see you laugh again." Carol said as she smiled at John, grateful that he was able to get his life back together again.

John smiled as well, but it was a false smile, he didn't want to tell Carol this was the first time he had laughed like that since before Lucy died. Carol would probably understand why he hadn't laughed in a long time if he explained. John remained silent while Doug started to talk again, not taking anything in, Doug was saying. His mind had drifted to the person in the picture he looked at just before they arrived. 

Doug stopped talking then he realised John wasn't listening, he had just asked John an important question and was a little bit offended that he didn't hear the question.

"John, are you listening to me? I just asked you a question"

John head snapped at the sound of his name being called in an aggravated tone. 

"Sorry, mind drafted. What were you asking me?"

"If you would be my best man at our wedding?"

John smiled he had even been asked to be someone best man before and he felt very honoured to be asked.

"Of course I will, and I am sorry for not listening, it will never happen again."

Carol laughed, and Doug shortly followed.

"John, whom were you thinking of anyway?"

"Who said I was thinking of someone?" John question Carol.

"No one, but it was written all over your face. So who was it?" Carol pressed John.

"It wouldn't be the person in the picture you were looking at would it." Doug asked; Carol looked confused. 

"What picture?" Carol questions them.

"Oh, just then a photograph of a friend."

"Who?" Carol questioned more, wanting to know the details of this person.

"No one you know!" John quickly told her. This caused Doug to laugh.

"No one we know, come on John. Last time I check we use to know her very well." 

John lowered his head in defeat and cussing Doug for saying anything and Carol looked to Doug waiting for him to tell her who it was.

"Who? Come on Doug, please tell me?" 

"Not really my place to say. I understand why John won't tell anyone." Doug told Carol, he realised what the consequences to John would be, and if anyone found out he had loved and still did love Lucy. He didn't want to put John though that, as he had been though enough already. 

"Nothing happen between you two did it?" Doug asked to found out how much in trouble John would be in, in case the wrong someone found out. 

"No! We only kissed once, but that was when I liked her not loved her."

"Yeah I heard about that. So if I was to Carol you wouldn't really be that much in trouble."

"I suppose not." John grimly answered. 

"Okay who?" Carol said she was excited; she was about to find out this mystery person.  

"Lucy, Carol."

Carol eyes widen from shock, she didn't expect to hear Doug say Lucy.

"You loved Lucy!"

"No I love Lucy!"

"John Lucy dead"

"Don't you think I know that, God! It still doesn't change the way I feel about her." John shouted. "Also I believe without fibre in my body that she is still here in spirit." John finished, as he calmed down. 

"I'm sure she is still here in spirit!" Doug said.

"You don't understand that's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?" Carol said.

Lucy and Mark stepped closer to their former friends, they were now more interested in the conversion they were having. They wanted to know also what John meant.

"When you're angry or sad, and you're in room by yourself and you need someone to talk to and no one this there." Doug, and Carol nodded. "Then all the sudden you feel that someone is in the room ready to listen, even thou there isn't." Doug and Carol nodded again so John knew they understood. "Well, I know every time that happens its Lucy who's there ready to listen."

"John how do you know its Lucy, and not just your mind?" Carol asked carefully, she didn't want to upset him. John understood this and answered her question. 

"I don't know how to explain it, I just know. When I feel that someone is there to listen, I feel the same way Lucy use to make me feel."

Lucy stepped even closer and wasn't now that far away from the 3 talking morals.

"John that doesn't mean its Lucy."

"I know, but I can sense that it is. Like when I'm extremely angry like just before you came in, it's like all the sudden I feel like I have been wrapped up in a warm blanket, and that 'someone loves me is near' feeling. Lucy is the only one whom never made me feel like that, I know then, it's Lucy in the room. Please believe me Carol." John pleaded with Carol.

Carol didn't know why, but she did believe him. Maybe because as he was talking she felt the feeling he was talking about, but it felt like more then one presence. 

"I believe you." 

Lucy leaned down and looked into John's eyes, lightly touched his shoulder.

"You can sense it's me!"

John felt a rush of warmth fill him, turned his head. Lucy gasped then John turned his head, it looked like he was staring straight into her eyes. 

"Lucy!" Mark said 

"What?" Lucy asked dazed. 

"You are in dangerous waters, you know there's a possibility he could see you in the future, if you keep touching him and talking directly to him like that. Think about what that could do to his mind, Lucy. It's dangerous!" 

Lucy reluctantly released John and walked away towards Mark.

"I know! It's just so difficult sometimes."

"I know. Maybe someone else should be assigned to John." 

Lucy shot Mark daggers, she was denied being forever with John as a moral, she wasn't about to lose him completely, because of possibilities, and what ifs.

"No, please Mark you can't take him away from me completely. Please don't tell anyone what's happen today, please." Lucy pleaded with Mark, and he reluctantly gave in. 

"Okay, but be careful."

"I will, I promise."

End of Chapter One…Please Review.


	2. Chapter 2

If you need a friend, an angel will be there. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story they belong to Warner Bros. Company. Chapter Two 

Doug, Carol, and John made their way to a local pub to the hospital to grab a bit to eat and catch up, and talk about the old days. Chuni, who recognised that Carol needed a break, told her to enjoy herself and she take the twins with her and Carol gratefully accept her offer. When entering the pub John immediately took orders for drinks and proceeded to the bar. This left Doug and Carol to talk privately for a while.

            "He seems to alright!" Doug stated, but he wasn't that all convinced. 

            "Yeah he seems to be handling himself okay. He has been though a lot Doug, he will never be the John Carter you remembered when we lived here. God the heartache he must of went though!" Carol added, and Doug realised what Carol was saying was true. He also knew Carol was talking about John losing Lucy as she closed her sentence, and selfishly wished and player that he would never lose Carol and go though want John did.

            "When do you think he first fell in love with Lucy? I mean love not attraction, because that was always there!"

            "I honestly have no idea."

            "Did you see the faces of the nurses as we came out of the lounge?" Carol asked Doug.

            "Yeah, strange really I thought they all knew we were here!"

            "Doug they weren't looking at us they were looking at John!" Carol whispered in case John could overhear, as the bar wasn't that far from them. "They were shocked at the way he was acting." Carol added. Doug was confused.

            "How do you know this?" Doug questions her.

            "Chuni told me! She said he hadn't looked so happy in his life. And I reminded her, of course he has, he just hasn't been this happy or anything to be happy about, since Lucy died. Doug, I kind of let it out that John will never be truly happy again because Lucy isn't alive." 

Doug just stared at Carol in astonishment, he knew Carol had without any intention just made John's life harder, as the nurses would figure out why John couldn't be entirely happy without Lucy, they would guess John loved Lucy. He was glad though that she didn't let it out to their former colleagues that John was still very much in love with Lucy, or he hoped she didn't.

            "You have to tell John what you just told me, he deserves a head up in case they question him about how much he cared for Lucy." 

            "I know I do, but I don't know how to start telling him. I didn't mean to open up my big mouth and tell them what John told us in confidence." Carol pleaded to Doug; she wanted Doug to believe her. 

            "Carol, I will always believe what you tell me. But as for John I have no idea, like you said before his not the same John Carter we knew back when his was a medical student." 

Carol laughed at Doug, did he honestly believe that was whom John was like before he left to live in Seattle, a bumbling little medical student. John hadn't been like a bumbling medical student for years before they left for Seattle.

            "Doug, John grew out of the bumbling little medical student long before we left Chicago."

            "I know, but that's the way I will always see him." Doug started to laugh followed by Carol.

John came back to the table and was welcome by two every laughing adult; they took one look at him and laughed harder. 

            "Okay, what did I do? As I can tell you're laughing about me!"

Carol took some deep breaths to calm her laughing.

            "Sorry John, Doug and I were remembering when you were a bumbling little medical student, we couldn't help ourselves. You were so amusing back then."

John chuckled as he placed the glasses down on the table.

            "Don't I know about it, god that's seems like a very long time ago. In the first two weeks I kept knocking everything over."

            "Not true, it was the first whole… year!" Doug said and bust out laughing again, he tried not to say the remark but couldn't help himself, John handed him the dig. 

            "I'm sure you weren't any better as a medical student."

            "Too true, but I did it with class." Doug spoke now calmed down.

            "Class, I have more class in the tip of my little finger then you!" John rolled back, sending him and Carol into more fits of laughter. Doug blinked a few times to make sure it was John whom came up that comeback to his remark. 

            "Who are you? Last time I checked John Carter didn't think of anything quick enough to come up with comebacks like that." Doug question.

            "What can I say, you handed it to me!"

The evening carried on with them reminiscing about the past, what Doug and Carol did in Seattle, etc. Carol had also told John what she told Doug earlier and John wasn't at all angry, he also believes Carol that it was a slip of the tongue and meant nothing by it. John was enjoying himself and he wished that Doug and Carol weren't going to leave Chicago again; he missed their company and the friendship they shared with each other. It felt like it did before the tragedy of three years, and for a faction of a minute forgot that Lucy died, and believes she was waiting at the hospital for the beginning of her shift, that was before the subject changed to Lucy. 

When did you realise you loved Lucy?" Carol asked the question Doug asked her earlier, she was just as or even more curious then Doug.

John took a soothing breath it was always hard to talk about Lucy, but he trusted Doug and Carol not to say anything. Doug less then Carol as he always seemed in the past if you told him something in confidence the mater would be around the hospital faster then a bush fire.

"I thought about that a lot, I believe it was round about early December when she first started in the ER."

Carol didn't expect John to say that early, but as she thought about it that was round about the time they started to get on with each other better, instead of at each others faces all the time.

"I miss her so much, sometimes I forget how she use to look, the sound of her voice, but I don't forget not really. I always seem to wish she was here and we talk, like the talks we use to have on the roof. Sometimes I just seem to talk in an empty room to her, like I have just felt her walk in or my mind tells me that. When that happens I can't stop talking. I talk about everything that has happen that makes me mad, sad etc. It's my release to think she's in the room with me."  

John decided that now he had started talking about the way he felt he was going to keep talking. John looked at Carol and Doug he could see pity in their eyes, but he doesn't care. He knows they only pity him because this should never of happen to him.

"If She was back, what be the first thing you do?" Doug question.

"Kiss her…"

"I knew it!" Doug interrupted John.

"…again!" John finished his sentence.

"Again… what do you mean by again?" Doug asked why looking between the both of them, he could tell Carol knew something about this.

"Did you forget to mention something honey?"

"No, not really, only the gossip about John and Lucy in an exam room." Carol sweetly said back to Doug.

"What exam room? When?" Doug questioned them both.

"Exam 6." John answered Doug's first question.

"When you left." Carol answered his second question. "You left the hospital right before it happen, and I had a resolve never to speck to you again, so I didn't tell you."

They continued talking until it was getting late, and Carol and Doug had to pick up the girls. Carol moaned about how her mother was making it obvious she didn't like Doug as they walked over the threshold of the pub and out of the blue said to John we accept the offer you made earlier why talking. Earlier John had offer them with girls to stay at the Carter mansion why his Grandmother was out of town, and of course they refused saying they wouldn't be able to get used to being taken off hand and foot by the staff. But as the evening drawn on Carol realised it was an excellent place to get away from her mother antics. 

John helped them pick up Kate and Tess from Chuni and then on to her mothers to pick their stuff. After 30 minutes waiting in the car with Doug and the girls Carol came storming out with one bag. Carol got into John jeep and slammed the door, both Doug and John looked hard at her. 

"Sorry about the door John, but mother can be impossible sometimes and always gets me this mad. We be picking up the rest of the bags tomorrow Doug, I got one set of clothes and night wear." Carol stated. 

John drove off with two sleeping children and two extremely quiet adults. Once he was home he showed where they would be sleeping, then headed straight to bed. He closed his door and in the chair to the left Lucy sat watching him get ready for bed. She often watched him sleep, just in case he had a nightmare. She would be right at his side invisible and sometimes invisible, but at those times in the morning he only thought it was a dream. She loved watching him sleep it was usually the only time he was free. Once he had settled into bed and had fallen asleep, Lucy walked over to the bed and sat down. Tonight she was visible; she reached over and stroked away the hair that now covered his eyes. She lowered and softly kissed his lips, and then whisper into his ear.

"Good night John, please have sweet dreams tonight."

John turned over, and she started to walk back to the chair she was previously sitting in, she stopped dead in her tracks then she heard John mumble.

"Night Luce, don't leave I miss you to much." Lucy knew he was still asleep and had heard Mortals could hear Angel when they slept and sometimes had long conversion without realising it wasn't a dream, but this was the first time John had answered back.

"Please stay….with me." He mumbled. "Please Luce."

"I'm not leaving John I'll be sitting right here!" Lucy quietly answered him, not wishing to wake up the rest of the house.

"No! Not over there. Stay with me!" John emphasised the stay with me, that's when she knew he wanted her sleep next to him. Like the person she was, she couldn't say no to this man. She slowly walked back over to the bed and slipped the covers, the minute she was comfortable John turned and wrapped his arms around her. Lucy went ridged the minute he came into skin contact with her, she soon melted into his embrace.

"Thank you." John mumbled again,

"No John Thank you for insist I stay, you don't know how long I have waited for this."

"Yeah I do, for about as long as I have!" 

Lucy smiled and soon was also asleep like John.

End of chapter, Please review, I would like your suggestions about where you like to see this story going. 


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